4 miracles of a woman:
- getting wet without taking a shower
- bleeding without getting hurt
- giving milk without eating grass
- and making boneless flesh hard
Splash News: At last a new generation napkin made specially to satisfy women, Introducing a new whisper with fingers that keeps you wet even if you are dry.
Types of farters:
- Pretenders; fart silently then acts innocent
- Shy; farts softly then smiles
- Arrogant; farts loudly then laughs
- Unlucky; tries to fart but shits.
A man dashes into a woman and says “So sorry ma’am.
If your heart is as soft as your breasts, you will forgive me”
The lady replies: “If your dick is as hard as your elbow, am in room 603”
1st fact of life: garib aur boobs hamesha dabte hain.
2nd fact of life: musibat aur dick kahin bhi khade ho sakte hain.
3rd fact of life: kismat aur bra kahin bhi khul sakti hain.
Q : How do the Talibans seduce their women?
A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their pentagon.
Girls reaction to penis sizes:
9″ – oh shit pain!
7″ – oh yes, yum!
6″ – oh perfect!
5″ – mmm ok!
4″ – push more!
3″ – is it in?
2″ – idiot! Just use your tongue.
Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A – Airport (flat)
B – Barely there
C – Can do
D – Damn good
E – Enormous
F – Fake
What’s the definition of a Lesbian??
“Just another damn woman, trying to do a man’s job.”
Women are unpredictable:
Before marriage, she expects a man.
After marriage, she suspects her man. &
After his death, she respects him.
Why are married women fatter than single one’s?
Singles come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed; whereas
married women come home, see what’s in the bed & go to the fridge.
During pregnancy:
The 1st three months, do it the normal style
Next three months do it the doggy style
And the last three months do it the wolf style. sit outside the hole and howl.
All couples have different phases of sex life:
Age 20 – din raat
Age 28 – roz raat
Age 38 – jumme raat
Age 48 – chandni raat
Age 58 – only jazbaat
Latest statistics on ‘what men do after SEX???
2% eat
3% smoke cigarettes
4% take a shower
5% go to sleep
86% get up and go back home to their wife.
HOW TRUE!!!
What did newton’s dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
“Fuck you and your law of gravity, I’m goin UP.”
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked ‘why?’
He said: “my wife makes me pay Rs 1,000/- for every fuk!”
Friend said: “you’re lucky, she charges others Rs 2,500/-“
Girl in theatre: “the man next to me is masturbating”
Boyfriend: “ignore him”
GF: “I can’t, he’s using my hand”
Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency.
Angry maid says, “At least am better than you in bed.”
Lady (amazed): ” Did Sahab tell you this?”
Maid: “No, the driver did.”
What is common between a passionate kiss and a spider?
” Both lead to the undoing of the fly”.
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
” After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.”
Eve: ” Adam, do you love me?”
Adam: ” No, I don’t.”
Eve (crying): ” Then why did you make love to me?”
Adam: ” Hello!!! As if I had other choices.”
A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks “How 300%?”
She says: “you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his
finger and burnt his tongue.”
25 useless things in a man:
20 nails
02 nipples that don’t milk
02 balls that you cannot play with. &
01 cock that does not lay egg.
Teacher: “why do buffaloes get depressed after milking?
Student: “Ma’am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you
are left unfucked how would you feel?
A policeman arrested a prostitute.
Prostitute: “I’m not selling sex!
Policeman: “Then what are you doing?”
Prostitute: “I’m selling condoms and offering free demo.
Life is like a penis.
Sometimes up, sometimes down,
Sometimes hard, sometimes soft,
Sometimes big, sometimes small,
Sometimes in, sometimes out,
So ENJOY penis. oooooops ENJOY LIFE.
