We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now, here are the rules from the male perspective. Take note: all rules are numbered “1” on purpose—they’re equally important!
- Learn to work the toilet seat.
If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. No complaints, please. - Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries aren’t treasure hunts.
Don’t make them quests for the “perfect present” year after year. - Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you.
It’s nothing personal. Live with it. - Sunday = Sports.
It’s like the full moon or the changing tides—just let it be. - Shopping is not a sport.
No, we’ll never think of it that way. - Crying is blackmail.
Enough said. - Ask for what you want.
Hints—subtle, strong, or obvious—do not work. Just say it. - We don’t remember dates.
Use a calendar. Reminders are appreciated. - Most guys own three pairs of shoes—tops.
Don’t expect us to pick the right pair out of your thirty options. - “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers.
Simple is better. - Come to us with problems only if you want solutions.
That’s what we do. Call your girlfriends for sympathy. - Comments have an expiration date.
Anything we said more than seven days ago is invalid in an argument. - If you won’t dress like Victoria’s Secret models…
Don’t expect us to act like soap opera stars. - If you ask if you’re fat…
You probably are. We’re not answering that. - If what we said can be interpreted two ways…
We meant the non-offensive version. - Let us ogle.
We’re going to look anyway—it’s genetic. - Ask or tell, but not both.
If you know how to do it better, just do it yourself. - We don’t need directions.
Columbus didn’t, and neither do we. - Men see only 16 colors (like Windows default).
Peach is a fruit. Pumpkin is a fruit. Mauve? No idea. - If it itches, we will scratch it.
Nature calls. - We are not mind readers.
Our inability doesn’t mean we don’t care. - If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing”…
We’ll assume you mean it—don’t trap us. - When it’s time to go out…
Whatever you wear is fine. Really. - You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
✅ Final Note:
These rules aren’t meant to offend—just to offer some insight into how guys think. Take them with a smile! 😎
