- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
- Love affairs: Like cricket; one-day matches are more popular than five-day tests.
- Marriage: A man loses his bachelor’s degree; a woman gains her master.
- Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
- College: Some pursue learning; others learn pursuing.
- Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by many.
- Compromise: Dividing a cake so everyone believes they got the biggest piece.
- Tears: Hydraulic force that defeats masculine willpower.
- Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
- Ecstasy: Feeling a feeling you’ve never felt before.
- Classic: Books people praise but don’t read.
- Smile: A curve that can set things straight.
- Office: Where you relax after a strenuous home life.
- Yawn: When some married men finally open their mouths.
- Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
- Philosopher: A fool spoken of when dead.
- Diplomat: Sends you to hell so politely you look forward to the trip.
- Opportunist: Bathes if they fall into a river.
- Optimist: Falls from Eiffel Tower and says, “See, I’m not injured yet.”
- Pessimist: Sees “O” as the end in “RO” not the start in “OPPORTUNITY.”
- Miser: Lives poor to die rich.
- Father: A banker provided by nature.
- Criminal: Like the rest, just caught.
- Boss: Early when you’re late; late when you’re early.
- Politician: Shakes your hand before elections; your confidence after.
- Doctor: Cures your ills with pills, then bills.
- Software Engineer: Gets paid for reading these jokes!
Witty Definitions
